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From: smash48@netins.net
Simple, the badges. That way you get to head out and see the world. Just
don't annoy a Spearow on Route 1. *Shudder*
And for my continual plot to conquer the world, here's another hypnotic
story thingy. Oops-you didn't hear me say that!
Remember the Evil Nameless Trainer? Well, this is a story about his first
day in office. His father had just died under mysterious circumstances and
left the Evil Nameless Trainer Empire to him. (Now they suspect that his
death has something to do with the JFK assassination) After a big
celebration, he woke up in the middle of the night in a sleazy hotel with
his credit cards gone and fluorescent orange lipstick covering his face and
neck.
He dashed back to his hometown by the official Nameless Trainer Jet, which
he crashed into the Oak Pokemon Lab. He drew a squirt gun filled with
orange juice and held up the Lab with it. But he only got one Poke Ball
from the staff before Professor Oak, via the highly advanced criminal
identification technique of opening his eyes, saw that the Nameless Trainer
was holding his gun backwards.
Two minutes later?
The Nameless Trainer was dragged to the gallows after being found guilty of
the heinous crime of Being Really Stupid in a Pokemon Lab. However, the
Poke Ball he had stolen fell open and the greatest evil you ever imagined
fall out. It was?
What?
No, it was not Bill Gates, you idiot! It was-
Now what?
No, it was not a copy of Windows 95! Shut up!
It was the most evil creature on the entire planet. Its full name was
Confucius Archibald Ignatius Deemer Jabarkas Bob Pikas, or Pikachu for
short. It led an evil organization called the AMPR (We can't completely
translate this from Pikaese. All we know is that it's either Anti-Mario,
Pokemon Rule or Anti-Mewtwo, Pikas Rules.) It had been defeated by our
hero Mewtwo in the future and was sent back to that time in a Master Ball,
creating a paradox that eventually destroyed the universe.
Anyway, the Pikachu pointed a finger and killed everyone with a Zap Cannon
attack, (Which hadn't been invented yet, but who cares?) except the
Nameless Trainer. The Nameless Trainer was delighted to have such a
powerful slave, so he grabbed for the Master Ball and attempted to
recapture it. However, the Master Ball had been stolen by the Evil
Nameless Trainer's archenemy, the Eviler Nameless Trainer, and had been
replaced by a rock that was painted purple. The Nameless Trainer, however,
was too stupid to notice the difference and spent the next hour or so
beating the evil Pikachu with a rock.
Since I'm running out of time writing this, I'll just cut to the chase now.
Besides, most of the other parts is just throwing rocks at random
weaklings.
The Evil Nameless Trainer had done some more stupid and evil things and
ended up ticking off a flock of Spearows. He was now running away in a
cowardly fashion. He eventually came upon a girl fishing in a little
stream that is actually nowhere near Route 1. She was sporting a brand new
747 jet and an old run down bike that had random chunks falling off every
20 seconds. The Nameless Trainer ran up to her and held the Pikachu to her
head and stole the bike. The girl, not caring about her bike at all,
instantly fell in love with the Evil Nameless Trainer and dashed after him,
leaving her jet behind to get stolen by the Ratatta Mafia.
Meanwhilst, the Evil Nameless Trainer had fallen into a space-time vortex
and landed behind the Spearows. He laughed as the swarm descended upon
Viridian City. The Spearows suddenly stopped outside of the Poke Center
and presented a search warrant. Afterwards, not finding anything, they
went ahead to descend on Pewter City.
The Nameless Trained laughed insanely, but then the bike hit a rock and
both the Nameless Trainer and the Pikachu flew about 50 feet and landed in
a pit that wasn't supposed to be there, but who cares? The fall had killed
the evil Pikachu, but the Nameless Trainer grabbed it anyway. He climbed
out of the pit and dashed to the nearest Poke Center. The evil Pikachu was
there ran into emergency surgery and had its brain implanted in another
dead Pikachu. However, the evil Pikachu had by then forgotten all of its
cool moves from the future because of this and threw a tantrum, ending the
episode.
Note: No, I am not an Ash or Pikachu hater, I just thought this would be a
good way to make fun of Ash's naivete and big ego.
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